Nov

Before you read this blog, please waste three minutes of your life reading this: http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/11/05/o.change.name.after.marriage/index.html

I am concerned that the author of this article is so incensed about 80% of women in America choosing to change their surname after marriage. Does she not have more important or interesting things to harp on about, in the realms of feminism? Haven’t we moved on to more important things, ladies? Perhaps the breaking of glass ceilings? Who would have thought that anyone gave a damn, in 2009, about wasting time worrying about what names we choose to give ourselves. Isn’t that what feminism is about; providing women with the equal opportunity to make choices?

Any one of those famous people she used as examples would be no less talented and no less who they are, had they changed their surnames, they just wouldn’t be a “brand” anymore. That’s right, these women are all brands and their names are marketing tools. Isn’t that counterproductive to the feminist cause? Do you not think there were multiple meetings with agents, public relations representatives, and management firms about each and every one of those marriages and how the name would need to stay the same so that the dollar value could be protected with the familiarity of the name? Those women no longer own their names and those names are not who they are – they are the labels for products or services or talents they provide.

My strongest connection to my former surname was my grandfather and he passed away in 2006. My own family is disjointed and scattered to the winds – so why continue to use a surname with which I no longer feel a bond? I am proud to be my husband’s wife and thus, changed my surname after marriage. I did not do that for my first marriage, because it was not a man or family to which I felt especially connected. Short of selecting a new surname for the both of us, one that was not connected to my former surname or to Muzquiz, I felt much more comfortable becoming a Muzquiz than keeping my former surname. I am not a brand. Changing my name does not erase my past, nor does it negate the talents I have or remove the things I have to offer the world. I am still ME. So, yes, it is about personal identity. I just happen to choose to identify as being proud to be Mrs. Muzquiz.

Faith Salie, before you go parading your idealistic and misguided blathering to the rest of the world about how we should live our lives exactly like you, perhaps you should take a closer look at WHY 80% of us do CHOOSE to take on our husband’s surname. We all have our individual reasons and have made a choice to take on a new name for ourselves.

Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What’s Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title.

May

My grandfather was shot in WWII, fighting Germans in France. He survived and went on to live a very long life, but he lost many friends… fellow soldiers. My biological father was an infantryman in Vietnam. His experiences drove him to alcohol abuse, by the time he returned. In the several years following his return, he slowly drank himself to death, passing away when I was six years old, having never known me.

My husband served in Iraq for a year and a half, both in Mosul and Baghdad. He also saw the loss of several fellow friends & soldiers. One of which is named on a bracelet Pani wears, 24/7. I read that soldier’s story and his legacy.com guestbook, thanks to a new layer available for Google Earth. Reading through the grief that his fiance, stepmother, and Tia all felt – and continue to feel – reminded me that tomorrow is not just a day off of work. Nor is it a reason to get drunk or barbecue with friends. It’s a day of remembrance, for those who have died, so that we can live freely.

While you are all out enjoying this beautiful weekend, please spare a minute or two and be thankful for those who passed away, before their time, and the families who sacrificed their loved ones… so that you could have the right to enjoy the three-day weekend in a manner you see fit.

Apr

I already said it on Twitter, but the following lyrics perfectly sum up my life from early September of last year until now and probably will continue to, for the foreseeable future:

And can you live with what you know about yourself,
When you’re all alone, behind closed doors?
The things we never said, but we always knew were right there.
It’s got me on my knees in a bathroom,
Praying to a God that I don’t even believe in,
“Well, dear Jesus, are you listening?”

I woke up this morning in the middle of a scream. It isn’t the first time. The images in my head are so painfully real, when I’m asleep. I don’t think too long or too hard about them when I’m awake, but there’s no brain filter when I’m unconscious.

Jan

Due to the tragic death of one of my parents, I’ve been noticeably absent from this blog. As much as the passing is something I’d like to discuss here, the surviving parent has a hang-up about anything regarding her personal life being written about publicly on the internet. So, I’ll respect her wishes and keep the details to myself for the time being. Maybe after the shock wears off and I’m done being angry at the perpetrator of the boneheaded mistake which led to my stepdad’s passing… oh, who am I kidding? That anger isn’t ever going away and the shock will never wear off. So that’s that.

My husband has officially been deployed and is gone until December 2009. He leaves the country within the next week or two and will be at his final destination at some point in the near future, which will allow him to be online more often and our communication to stop suffering from the constant training and missions that they embark upon, in the run up to their official departure. Needless to say, the adaptation to his not being here is not easy and I’ve been spending a lot of time at my mom’s house. She feels too alone at her home and I feel too alone at mine. The only beings to keep me company here, at home, are the furry idiots – although, they’re more like roommates who don’t contribute to our living expenses.

Future plans include the possibility of enrolling in radio broadcasting classes at the local community college, continuing to learn Italian (Rosetta Stone HOLLAH!), and talking to a local glass blower about learning the craft, so that I can start making plugs and other nifty ear jewelry (Shhh! Don’t tell anyone.)… and of course, continuing with the awesome baking endeavors. There are also plans to frequently visit the San Diego Zoo, photograph a heck of a lot more, go camping, take a few road trips, and hello? ZOMBIEWALK!

Speaking of zombiewalk plans, we have a small secret event happening on January 22nd for undead, aged 21 and over, at a venue in San Diego. Music is involved in this zombie outbreak. If you want details, drop me a line, because it should be pretty awesome.

And yes, I will be updating this blog much more often. I promise.

Nov

Not only does mobile technology pay my rent (hollah!), it also helps me from going out of my fuckin’ mind while the husband is gone. He has his cell phone with him until he leaves country, so we flirt via text, discuss our daily routines (or lack thereof), I send him videos of the cats & pictures of my massive tangle of bedhead, and he sends me cute pictures in return. Examples:

Never underestimate the usefulness of cell phones!

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