Sep

A colleague sent this to me and I just had to share:

Sep

It’s true, I really did. At least according to the logic of Al Gore and that of John McCain’s economic adviser, Douglas Holtz-Eakin.

Al Gore is widely attributed with a claim to have invented the internet. Of course, this isn’t true. His actual quote is:

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country’s economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.

While this does seem like he’s claiming that he invented the internet, it’s obvious that he’s just touting the fact that his name was signed to some initiatives that provided funding to spread the use and efficiency of the internet. He wasn’t the only one who aided in that. The internet is not homogeneous and evolved over decades – just as it continues to evolve today.

Douglas Holtz-Eakin is attributed with claiming that McCain invented the Blackberry. This claim did not occur at all. This is the actual quote:

He did this. [holding a BlackBerry] Telecommunications of the United States is a premier innovation in the past 15 years, comes right through the Commerce Committee. So you’re looking at the miracle John McCain helped create and that’s what he did.

The “creation” that McCain’s adviser is claming for his employer is not the invention of the BlackBerry itself, but the assistance in creating the current state of the telecommunications industry. Sounds much like Gore’s claim with the internet, right? Right.

So, I’m here to tell you that I invented blue hair. Now, I did not actually create blue hair, but I’ve had blue hair on and off for nearly two decades. I’ve figured out particular mixtures of dyes that bring more vibrant hues of blue that do not fade as quickly as previous formulations. This information has been shared with friends and acquaintances, subsequently being spread via both Gore’s and McCain’s “inventions” making me a fucking legend when it comes to those with blue hair. Marge Simpson considers me a hero and you should, too.

Sep

It’s difficult to shock me. The instances in my life, where I have been surprised, are few and far between and it’s generally by out of the ordinary things. The most recent shock was no exception.

My mom revealed that my stepdad has never seen a waterfall, other than in pictures or on television.
Upon receiving this news, it threw me for a complete loop. How can one go through over sixty years of life, having never seen one of the most beautiful experiences in the world? It makes no sense to me. I have been in the presence of no less than 50 natural waterfalls in less than half the time my stepdad has been alive. Granted, I greatly enjoy being outdoors, have been camping more times than I can count, used to hike on a fairly regular basis, and still attempt to get outside as much as possible… there’s still no excuse for someone in their 60s having never experienced a naturally-occurring waterfall, in person.

So, I’ve made it my mission to get my stepdad to see a waterfall. Luckily, one of the most beautiful waterfalls in southern California is a relatively easy and short walk, though a long-ish drive from my parents’ house. It’s in Los Padres National Forest, near Ojai.

From Ojai, drive 15 miles north on Highway 33 to the Rose Valley turnoff and make a right. Continue 3 miles to the Rose Valley Campground turnoff and make a right. Park at the end of the road, about a half mile up near the trailhead sign (Lat:34.53181 Lon:-119.18315)

It’s best seen after a good rain, so I think that at some point this winter, I’m going to have to somehow get my parents to go with me on a trip for a day or two. My stepdad really needs to take in the overwhelming spectacle that is Rose Valley Falls. He gave me the gifts of jazz and photography, two of my greatest loves. It’s my turn to share.

Sep

“Statistics show that women live longer than men. Find out how YOU can beat the odds!”

…commit suicide?

Watching the cats sleep is one of the most calming and pleasant occurrences of which I can think. They all look genuinely peaceful and I just want to scoop up the warm, furry body and hold it close. I can only imagine that this is how parents feel when they see their babies/children sleeping. Yes, I’ve become one of those cat-mom types. I’ve been told that having children is the only cure, but having seen how my mom acts around her cats… I don’t think there is

I get to pick up my husband, from the airport, in an hour and a half. He’s been gone for two and a half weeks, due to training. Hearing his voice, for the first time in as long, made me extremely giddy. The time apart has been somewhat difficult, so I’m very much looking forward to falling asleep tonight and waking up next to him in the morning.

Sep

[09:56] kc: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6498304
[09:56] kc: eat one of those.
[09:56] jenn: HOLY SHIT THAT LOOKS AMAZING
[09:57] kc: carl’s jr doesnt have those?!?
[09:57] jenn: not that I know of
[09:57] jenn: I’d be like YO HOLD THE MAYO
[09:57] kc: hardee’s is our carl’s jr.
[09:57] jenn: yah I know
[09:57] jenn: jesus that thing is like… omg… I need one.
[09:58] kc: 1420 calories, thats like a heart attack in a wrapper.
[09:58] jenn: In an interview on CNBC, Hardee’s chief executive Andrew Puzder was unapologetic, saying the company’s latest sandwich is “not a burger for tree-huggers.”
[09:58] jenn: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
[09:58] jenn: Andrew Puzder is my hero for the month
[09:58] kc: amazing, eh?
[09:58] kc: HAHAHHA
[09:58] jenn: I WANT AN ANTI-HIPPIE BURGER
[09:58] kc: fucking hippies
[09:58] jenn: hahahaha
[09:58] kc: HA!
[09:59] jenn: “If Hardee’s persists in marketing this junk, it should at least list calories right up on the menu board,” Jacobson said.
[09:59] jenn: hahahaha
[09:59] jenn: yeah like someone buying that doesn’t realize it’s going to be MASSIVELY fatty
[09:59] kc: for breakfast, they have made from scratch biscuits with icing and strawberry or blueberry compote..
[09:59] jenn: OMG
[10:00] jenn: I need to go to Hardeeeeeeessssss
[10:00] kc: 470 calories each, usually sold in packs of 2
[10:00] kc: for $1.89
[10:00] jenn: no wonder the south is so fat
[10:00] jenn: if y’all didn’t have hurricanes, tornadoes, stupid amounts of humidity, huge bugs, and rednecks… I would totally fucking move there.
[10:00] kc: now you can see how i put on over 50 pounds moving here.
[10:00] kc: mississippi and alabama two of the fattest states for a reason.
[10:01] kc: i think its something in the sweet tea

Andrew Puzder also said, “This is a burger for young hungry guys who want a really big, delicious, juicy, decadent burger…”

To that, I say… JUST guys? C’mon now. I would totally eat one of those. Sure, my internal organs – given their track record – would stage a massive revolution in a matter of minutes, evacuating the current residents of my digestive tract. A devastating bilious war would be fought, wreaking havoc on my lower abdominal cavity and preventing the would-be king of burgers from taking up residence less than the amount of time that it takes the cats to appear at my feet after hearing a can opener meet metal.

The nearest Hardee’s is 1,083 miles away, in Amarillo, Texas. All I have to say is that Carl’s Jr. (the west coast version of Hardee’s) better put that burger on its menu ASAP, or I’m going to have a 16 hour drive ahead of me VERY soon!

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